try 99
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Here's an update . Things at Crem have deteriated in one of those excrutiating, bumpy downward spirals. Since Xmas eve. The next work day, our preword meeting with J was dominated with about 30 minutes of red-headed step-child style of reaming which is typical of J when things haven't gone smoothly. It was one of those typical sessions, comprised of the servers on shift that night. Spitting out non-specific grocery lists of things we are doing wrong, refering to us as if we are all a part of one actual organism, instead of individual people. " You say you're fine, when I ask "are you Ok' , so I think you are fine, no don't don't come to me say "why there 4 waiters tonight,we don't need 4, I go home'", and things of that essence. Sone of the problems he was wailing about I know were caused by me, or out lack of communication, rather. As usual he comes to his own conclusion about why things happen the way they do, and does so with only a fragment of the information, and of course does not ever bother to ask you or talk about it. ( In fact, I don't think he hardly talks about things that upset him, he might yell about it , if you prod him, that being a dangerous territory, ) Of course, he dropped, kind of, what happened on Xmas eve, assuming it was all my fault I received a little bit of J-style punishment the next few days by getting very few tables, while my sales were several hundred dollars below everyone else's. I'm not supposed to be able to check the sales, I use a manager password to do so, so I could'nt confront him about it , and judging from experience, I decided just to wait it out. This lasted a couple of days. (Generally, at Crem the host, usually J , looks at sales and number of people per each waiter in order to decide who gets tables whne, trying to keep the sales as even as possible.)
Since then over the next few days he's been in his on and off, but mostly on (on border line explosion,bad , angry mood)
Since then over the next few days he's been in his on and off, but mostly on (on border line explosion,bad , angry mood)
Monday, December 29, 2003
Hi. I'm getting sick. I'm definately getting sick. Yuck, I hate being sick. Just a head, throat, nose thing. the common cold, I think.
Work was pretty boring and regular at the restaurant. J did succeed in pissing me off thoroughly at one time at least when he grabbed the bottle out of my hand that I was about to serve (to people that had been waiting long enogh) and told me to go greet a table that had just sat down, and were waiting for 2 more. "they JUST sat down!" I said. and he replied with his usual blabber to "needing to be go say hello!"or something along those lines. Still much better (only because he's in a good mood, and his mood has oh so much to do with how the whole night goes for me, unfortunately) than the alternative being at the new restaurant with D and Y. (I not being a big fan of D's and Y not being a big fan of mine).
Oh, It's so nice to be making money again. Although it's not all those nice to see,and have to deal with those kitchen people again. They do thoroughly scare me, really they scare me. And when customers get to see them I bet they feel the same way. They just don't look like the lot of people that you want handling your food. On a related note, (possibly, I don't really know if it's related, but is a fact nonetheless. ) business seems to be comparitively slower this year. I hear J's repeated and pointless comments of "the busy season is coming soon." "the season is coming" in my head's memory audio system. (being in direct competition to my current thoughts audio system.)
Maybe it's just the economy? I don't know, It doesn't seem like that much worse than just last year? Maybe it is. I wouldln't know.
Work was pretty boring and regular at the restaurant. J did succeed in pissing me off thoroughly at one time at least when he grabbed the bottle out of my hand that I was about to serve (to people that had been waiting long enogh) and told me to go greet a table that had just sat down, and were waiting for 2 more. "they JUST sat down!" I said. and he replied with his usual blabber to "needing to be go say hello!"or something along those lines. Still much better (only because he's in a good mood, and his mood has oh so much to do with how the whole night goes for me, unfortunately) than the alternative being at the new restaurant with D and Y. (I not being a big fan of D's and Y not being a big fan of mine).
Oh, It's so nice to be making money again. Although it's not all those nice to see,and have to deal with those kitchen people again. They do thoroughly scare me, really they scare me. And when customers get to see them I bet they feel the same way. They just don't look like the lot of people that you want handling your food. On a related note, (possibly, I don't really know if it's related, but is a fact nonetheless. ) business seems to be comparitively slower this year. I hear J's repeated and pointless comments of "the busy season is coming soon." "the season is coming" in my head's memory audio system. (being in direct competition to my current thoughts audio system.)
Maybe it's just the economy? I don't know, It doesn't seem like that much worse than just last year? Maybe it is. I wouldln't know.
Friday, December 26, 2003
Ok, it was the day before yesterday now, and maybe I'm maybe cooled off and recovered enough now to reiterate the night of work on christmas eve at Crem. These being the events which caused me to - or I allowed to cause me to want to do absolutely nothing and stay in bed much of the day, they were none too pleasant. ( ok that may not be entirely the cause of my laziness today, I'm embarassed to admit that that behavior is not unusual for me. It doesn't happen real often, but does happen often enough,where I just can't get motivation to do anything. Maybe it's stress, mild depression, or just laziness in it's purest form I don't know., but I think it has a lot to do with the stress from my job and me putting so much pressure on myself to do something else, get something else going financially,or that leads to financially,like my own business, I have tons of ideas that I've done very little or nothing about, All just because I know I can't waitress forever, it's not exactly a real rewarding career path,and includes no benefits. I don't have health insurance or anything, and live prettymuch paycheck to paycheck (( if I got paychecks)) and can barely accend to the top of the monthly mountain of bills each month. So, I put all this pressure on myself to do something productive with my time (after all, I'm not completely stupid) and somehow I think the end result is that I do nothing. How this result is achieved, I don't know, but I think it's directly related to this pressure I put on myself, maybe fear of failure or something related.
Here I am getting sidetracked again. Back to Christmas Eve. Lunch was pretty much incident-free. In the evening, we had 4 waiters and I was put in charge of a party of 20 on one of the private rooms. They had nametags and christmas decorations all arranged by the white-haired sweet old lady that showed up first. She gave me instructions on how there were to be 5 seperate checks by family, and I mapped out the informaiton on my notes that I kept ( since all information,such as food orders, is tracked by positions at the tables, each one having it's own number. ) So I had a map of what place postions get put together, etc. Everything will be ordered and worked on as a single check on the computer, and at the end of the night will be billed into seperate checks as per my information. Everything went well enough, real friendly people, and at one point I even received applause. The daughter of the white-haired lady, who turned out to be more in charge of the event praised my service. The strange thing about the party was that it was open - menu. (not like an open-book test, but being that people could order anything off the regular menu, when usually with these type of events, we use and abbreviated menu with a much smaller choice,to simplify thing in the kitchen,and on the waitstaff end.) I was confident that this would not be a problem,and proved not to be the main problem. The problem was drinks, and also me being assigned to several outside tables, too many, like everyone else. It was one of those crisis situations that happens sometimes in restaurants. Every one was busy as hell, and behind, so there was no one to help you. I greeted my first outside table, thinking I'm still on top of it because main entrees had been dispersed in the private room, giving me some down-time while they eat. ( I was feeling pretty relieved at this time because the more complicated appetizer situation had passed -- being complicated slightly because some people wanted two courses of appetizers, some not, some sharing (hense needing plates and corresponding silverware) and some having individual apps like soups and salads.)
So I had my attention on outside tables and took on more and more when the lady came out of the room and stopped me telling me that they were ready to order dessert. (AAAgghh....What??! ...I just gave them their food, it seemed like just a few minutes ago!!!! ...I was not planning on this.) That comment that seemed so simple to her immediately avalanched in my mind all the incredibly time consuming tasks that that seemingly simple task required. ( time consuming when it's 20 people, up milling around,in a room that is too small for a group that large to begin with, adding the large square-backed, tall chairs that I constantly had to wrestle with and get jabbed by.--I needed to pick up plates and silverware, disperse dessert menus.--I don't have time for this now!! Too bad, no one to help. I finally got in there much later and got these tasks done, and it didn't help that several members from different family-billing groups were ordering relentless rounds of the same drinks---which is, where the check seperation problems came about... I was later, teary-eyed staring at a white computer screen with columns with numbers ontop of them. I was touch screening drinks from lists into the seperate check columns. Listening to the daughter of the white-haired lady complain to J in the hall way, just around the corner from the stainless-steel waiter alcove I was in. Actually I could only hear J's response. " yes ma'am. I apologize for that mam. Yes she has too many tables tonight. It's my fault, that one, We don't have enough waiters tonight". Or something like that, with his thick chinese accent, who knows. I heard only later, through a listening co-worker what the lady actually said..I was looking at lists of 10 or 11 sakes, and the same numbers of house red wine, I was too busy at the time they were ordered to keep track of what billing groups had how many, and did'nt even think about it at the time. Later, knowing the people were standing out in the hallway, and with J standing right next to me staring at the computer, and what I was doing, which helped none at all. ( It could have been worse though, at least he just stayed shut up and didn't start in with his yelling and evil looks, --and I mean evil, he can look at you like you just got done murdering his mother..) Eventually, as crucial minute by minute slid by, me not accomplishing much, two of the friendlier gentlemen came to "help". There was so much pressure on me with all of them standing around me, and I was so embarrassed and could thinking of nothing but running out the back door into the darkness and curling up under an old table or something. The gentlemen were pretty friendly and we had had an ongoing back and forthing throughout the evening , so they didn't freak me out too badly, but I could hear the wives in the hallway bitching, which unnerved me. I did get one check successfully separated, and ran the guy's credit card, Having ran it incorrectly twice first, which automatically closes the check on the new computer system we have, which means I have to have J void it and re-open the check which is frustrating because it takes him sooo long to do even the most simple computer task. The men finally decided that they would just pay for whatever was left on the check together, on one card,and they would figure it out later. I was appologizing profusely, actually using the word Profusely when I did it. The worse thing was that as usual, in any kind of uncofortable situation, I was crying, I hate it, and it's uncontrolable, as soon as I feel it coming on I start thinking "I'm not gonna cry,I'm not gonna cry" of course at that point it's all over, and tears and snot start gushing. How embarassing. I was in this state, in the process of combining the checks, when the lady came back to yell at me in person" This is rediculous, we have children, we have to go" and I do mean yelling. The heavenly gentlemen assured her it was being taken care of and ushered her away, thank God, but the words and tone still haunt me,thank goodness I had sense enough to keep my eyes fixed on the computer screen, or the image would surely haunt me more. The remaider of the bill had been charged, and I at this point was crying and apologizing, both uncontrollably, which is probably why I still got a 50 dollar tip on the credit card,( almost 15%)along with consoling, and an additional 40 dollars in cash being produced one crumpled twenty after another from the pocket of the same man while he continued to tell me things like it's really not my fault, and I'm still the best. (a compliment he had repeated throughout the evening, probably sensing my struggling ).
J, by this time was thoroughly in a destructively bad mood, and he told me shortly after that he wants to talk to everybody after the shift. Translation, we all have to stay late on Christmas Eve to be yelled at by him. I begged him to please not keep everyone
Here I am getting sidetracked again. Back to Christmas Eve. Lunch was pretty much incident-free. In the evening, we had 4 waiters and I was put in charge of a party of 20 on one of the private rooms. They had nametags and christmas decorations all arranged by the white-haired sweet old lady that showed up first. She gave me instructions on how there were to be 5 seperate checks by family, and I mapped out the informaiton on my notes that I kept ( since all information,such as food orders, is tracked by positions at the tables, each one having it's own number. ) So I had a map of what place postions get put together, etc. Everything will be ordered and worked on as a single check on the computer, and at the end of the night will be billed into seperate checks as per my information. Everything went well enough, real friendly people, and at one point I even received applause. The daughter of the white-haired lady, who turned out to be more in charge of the event praised my service. The strange thing about the party was that it was open - menu. (not like an open-book test, but being that people could order anything off the regular menu, when usually with these type of events, we use and abbreviated menu with a much smaller choice,to simplify thing in the kitchen,and on the waitstaff end.) I was confident that this would not be a problem,and proved not to be the main problem. The problem was drinks, and also me being assigned to several outside tables, too many, like everyone else. It was one of those crisis situations that happens sometimes in restaurants. Every one was busy as hell, and behind, so there was no one to help you. I greeted my first outside table, thinking I'm still on top of it because main entrees had been dispersed in the private room, giving me some down-time while they eat. ( I was feeling pretty relieved at this time because the more complicated appetizer situation had passed -- being complicated slightly because some people wanted two courses of appetizers, some not, some sharing (hense needing plates and corresponding silverware) and some having individual apps like soups and salads.)
So I had my attention on outside tables and took on more and more when the lady came out of the room and stopped me telling me that they were ready to order dessert. (AAAgghh....What??! ...I just gave them their food, it seemed like just a few minutes ago!!!! ...I was not planning on this.) That comment that seemed so simple to her immediately avalanched in my mind all the incredibly time consuming tasks that that seemingly simple task required. ( time consuming when it's 20 people, up milling around,in a room that is too small for a group that large to begin with, adding the large square-backed, tall chairs that I constantly had to wrestle with and get jabbed by.--I needed to pick up plates and silverware, disperse dessert menus.--I don't have time for this now!! Too bad, no one to help. I finally got in there much later and got these tasks done, and it didn't help that several members from different family-billing groups were ordering relentless rounds of the same drinks---which is, where the check seperation problems came about... I was later, teary-eyed staring at a white computer screen with columns with numbers ontop of them. I was touch screening drinks from lists into the seperate check columns. Listening to the daughter of the white-haired lady complain to J in the hall way, just around the corner from the stainless-steel waiter alcove I was in. Actually I could only hear J's response. " yes ma'am. I apologize for that mam. Yes she has too many tables tonight. It's my fault, that one, We don't have enough waiters tonight". Or something like that, with his thick chinese accent, who knows. I heard only later, through a listening co-worker what the lady actually said..I was looking at lists of 10 or 11 sakes, and the same numbers of house red wine, I was too busy at the time they were ordered to keep track of what billing groups had how many, and did'nt even think about it at the time. Later, knowing the people were standing out in the hallway, and with J standing right next to me staring at the computer, and what I was doing, which helped none at all. ( It could have been worse though, at least he just stayed shut up and didn't start in with his yelling and evil looks, --and I mean evil, he can look at you like you just got done murdering his mother..) Eventually, as crucial minute by minute slid by, me not accomplishing much, two of the friendlier gentlemen came to "help". There was so much pressure on me with all of them standing around me, and I was so embarrassed and could thinking of nothing but running out the back door into the darkness and curling up under an old table or something. The gentlemen were pretty friendly and we had had an ongoing back and forthing throughout the evening , so they didn't freak me out too badly, but I could hear the wives in the hallway bitching, which unnerved me. I did get one check successfully separated, and ran the guy's credit card, Having ran it incorrectly twice first, which automatically closes the check on the new computer system we have, which means I have to have J void it and re-open the check which is frustrating because it takes him sooo long to do even the most simple computer task. The men finally decided that they would just pay for whatever was left on the check together, on one card,and they would figure it out later. I was appologizing profusely, actually using the word Profusely when I did it. The worse thing was that as usual, in any kind of uncofortable situation, I was crying, I hate it, and it's uncontrolable, as soon as I feel it coming on I start thinking "I'm not gonna cry,I'm not gonna cry" of course at that point it's all over, and tears and snot start gushing. How embarassing. I was in this state, in the process of combining the checks, when the lady came back to yell at me in person" This is rediculous, we have children, we have to go" and I do mean yelling. The heavenly gentlemen assured her it was being taken care of and ushered her away, thank God, but the words and tone still haunt me,thank goodness I had sense enough to keep my eyes fixed on the computer screen, or the image would surely haunt me more. The remaider of the bill had been charged, and I at this point was crying and apologizing, both uncontrollably, which is probably why I still got a 50 dollar tip on the credit card,( almost 15%)along with consoling, and an additional 40 dollars in cash being produced one crumpled twenty after another from the pocket of the same man while he continued to tell me things like it's really not my fault, and I'm still the best. (a compliment he had repeated throughout the evening, probably sensing my struggling ).
J, by this time was thoroughly in a destructively bad mood, and he told me shortly after that he wants to talk to everybody after the shift. Translation, we all have to stay late on Christmas Eve to be yelled at by him. I begged him to please not keep everyone
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Ok, this blog is pretty much just me bitching about work. It's mainly just so I can vent and hopefully retain my sanity for as long as possible. But just in case this is remotely interesting to anyone I'll try to nutshell my position and a little background so you might have an idea of what I'm talking about.
I'm a waitress in a relatively small, somewhat upscale restaurant. Complete with candles, chargers and tablecloths at night, it is Eureopean-asian cuisine. It is owned by a chinese family having branched out a few years ago from a nearby city. The family consists of the chef, his neice, and his cousin(I think, anyway a close mail relative, but not a brother) . We'll call the neice Y, she was the main manager of the waitstaff, and the service end, being very particular and not very nice to me for some reason from the beginning I did not feel real dissapointed at the time that she moved on (mostly)from managing there to open a new restaurant downtown of a completely different style and theme. She was there much less often, then and we were all in the hands of uncle J, who was also a manager, but until now was pretty much a sidelines exister and didn't make himself easy to deal with, so was pretty much avoided when one needed managerial help. ( I think mostly because he is still learning english,and has a very thick accent which makes him hard to understand, and also causes one to have to repeat themselves a lot, which of course is time consuming and frustrating--he's not exactly the most calm and patient listener when he is trying to grasp something--and in most resaurant situations, time is a very critical issue,and usually an entire headache could be avoided by going to Y who being in the US her whole life, these language issues were non-existant.)
Ok, trying to stay focused here, I'll tell you that the downtown-locale counter service place did well, and now(about a month ago, or so) they have opened a second location of that downtown restaurant in a shopping center in the southern part of town along with a second version of the old place side-by-side and sharing a kitchen and bathrooms having a connection at the back that customers can wander through. The new restaurant is almost exactly like the one I've worked in but is much smaller. It's also a little more casual, and some of the menu items are missing because of kitchen space problems.
My husband also works for these people,(though not as long as I have) He moved to the kitchen from the kitchen of the restaurant where we met, and I waitressed at before. He dearly wants to be a chef, and after having mentioned that to the chef at the new place I worked, and coupled with a sincere need for kitchen help, the chef offered him a job ( we'll call the chef C J) . C J claimed that he could help him emmensly with his career ambitions and that he would be stupid to pass up an opportunity like this. Being from Mexico, and not yet a legal resident a lot of opportunities, such as going to cullinary school, were out of grasp for him. So he came to (well, I guess I need to think of something we can call the restaurant, um. .....Crem. ) Crem. He was met only with months of sheer dissapointment after CJ jacked his hopes and expectations up to the ceiling, and then placed him merely as an expo, not even cooking, and for about 3 bucks less than he verbally promised me he would pay him.
Jo, my husband, was the first , as far as I know, to infiltrate the family that was the kitchen staff. We'll call them the Juarez's. Being all uncles and brothers and cousins and nephews. most of them were Juarez. Cj, not having gone to cullinary school himelf, but having grown up in the restaurant business had exposed himself already to me as being a person who's word is not exactly as solid as oak . I had warned Jo of this excessively ( I thought ) beforehand.
Now, Jo iscooking at the new restaurant down south ( Crem Cafe). His hours have expanded and the much promised and nervously anticipated raise he received was of course somewhat dissapointing, and having been changed to a salary and about 8 - 10 hours having been added to his work week.
So, to recap, I worked at Crem for about 3 years now, and the changes that it has undergone has been enormous, having the main managerchanging to J, who is sadly incompitent, and has very poor people skills and is altogether ruled by his mood. The new restaurant opened downtown by the same family ( Tism) and thankfully removing Y from my day to day life. and now with the opening of Crem cafe and Tism cafe down south, my husband now works there,cooking, and the plan was that I go there too. ( to CremCafe ) for obvious transportation reasons. But, Y being the main manager of Crem Cafe, and D being a manager (like sub-manager) (And we'll get into D later, but I will tell you she was partly responsible for me dreading work, being a fellow waitress and probably the most immature bitch with a capital B that I've ever worked with. ) So, getting back to the subject at hand, I worked at the brand new Crem Cafe for the first two , nearly vacant, weeks. After daily thorough head-butts with D, and having made patheticly little money, I asked Y ( who is now doing the scheduling for all 4 restaurants) to give me shifts at the old place so that I can make some money. For the last two weeks I've had only one day of shifts at Crem cafe each week. That's fine for me right now, but transportation is kind of a pain, ( I don't have a driver's license, and don't know how to drive a stick-shift anyway.)
So, that's how it is . I'll explain other things later as I go. This first blog was copied from something I'd written earlier after a night of working at Crem cafe, having been newly re-exposed to the wrath of Y.
I'm a waitress in a relatively small, somewhat upscale restaurant. Complete with candles, chargers and tablecloths at night, it is Eureopean-asian cuisine. It is owned by a chinese family having branched out a few years ago from a nearby city. The family consists of the chef, his neice, and his cousin(I think, anyway a close mail relative, but not a brother) . We'll call the neice Y, she was the main manager of the waitstaff, and the service end, being very particular and not very nice to me for some reason from the beginning I did not feel real dissapointed at the time that she moved on (mostly)from managing there to open a new restaurant downtown of a completely different style and theme. She was there much less often, then and we were all in the hands of uncle J, who was also a manager, but until now was pretty much a sidelines exister and didn't make himself easy to deal with, so was pretty much avoided when one needed managerial help. ( I think mostly because he is still learning english,and has a very thick accent which makes him hard to understand, and also causes one to have to repeat themselves a lot, which of course is time consuming and frustrating--he's not exactly the most calm and patient listener when he is trying to grasp something--and in most resaurant situations, time is a very critical issue,and usually an entire headache could be avoided by going to Y who being in the US her whole life, these language issues were non-existant.)
Ok, trying to stay focused here, I'll tell you that the downtown-locale counter service place did well, and now(about a month ago, or so) they have opened a second location of that downtown restaurant in a shopping center in the southern part of town along with a second version of the old place side-by-side and sharing a kitchen and bathrooms having a connection at the back that customers can wander through. The new restaurant is almost exactly like the one I've worked in but is much smaller. It's also a little more casual, and some of the menu items are missing because of kitchen space problems.
My husband also works for these people,(though not as long as I have) He moved to the kitchen from the kitchen of the restaurant where we met, and I waitressed at before. He dearly wants to be a chef, and after having mentioned that to the chef at the new place I worked, and coupled with a sincere need for kitchen help, the chef offered him a job ( we'll call the chef C J) . C J claimed that he could help him emmensly with his career ambitions and that he would be stupid to pass up an opportunity like this. Being from Mexico, and not yet a legal resident a lot of opportunities, such as going to cullinary school, were out of grasp for him. So he came to (well, I guess I need to think of something we can call the restaurant, um. .....Crem. ) Crem. He was met only with months of sheer dissapointment after CJ jacked his hopes and expectations up to the ceiling, and then placed him merely as an expo, not even cooking, and for about 3 bucks less than he verbally promised me he would pay him.
Jo, my husband, was the first , as far as I know, to infiltrate the family that was the kitchen staff. We'll call them the Juarez's. Being all uncles and brothers and cousins and nephews. most of them were Juarez. Cj, not having gone to cullinary school himelf, but having grown up in the restaurant business had exposed himself already to me as being a person who's word is not exactly as solid as oak . I had warned Jo of this excessively ( I thought ) beforehand.
Now, Jo iscooking at the new restaurant down south ( Crem Cafe). His hours have expanded and the much promised and nervously anticipated raise he received was of course somewhat dissapointing, and having been changed to a salary and about 8 - 10 hours having been added to his work week.
So, to recap, I worked at Crem for about 3 years now, and the changes that it has undergone has been enormous, having the main managerchanging to J, who is sadly incompitent, and has very poor people skills and is altogether ruled by his mood. The new restaurant opened downtown by the same family ( Tism) and thankfully removing Y from my day to day life. and now with the opening of Crem cafe and Tism cafe down south, my husband now works there,cooking, and the plan was that I go there too. ( to CremCafe ) for obvious transportation reasons. But, Y being the main manager of Crem Cafe, and D being a manager (like sub-manager) (And we'll get into D later, but I will tell you she was partly responsible for me dreading work, being a fellow waitress and probably the most immature bitch with a capital B that I've ever worked with. ) So, getting back to the subject at hand, I worked at the brand new Crem Cafe for the first two , nearly vacant, weeks. After daily thorough head-butts with D, and having made patheticly little money, I asked Y ( who is now doing the scheduling for all 4 restaurants) to give me shifts at the old place so that I can make some money. For the last two weeks I've had only one day of shifts at Crem cafe each week. That's fine for me right now, but transportation is kind of a pain, ( I don't have a driver's license, and don't know how to drive a stick-shift anyway.)
So, that's how it is . I'll explain other things later as I go. This first blog was copied from something I'd written earlier after a night of working at Crem cafe, having been newly re-exposed to the wrath of Y.
12/11/2003 Thurssay
What is her deal? I was emphatically squealling on the way home. This time about Y. Stil the same ol' shit. I don't understand what the issue is. For some unknown reason the woman hates me. It is not me being paranoid, or too sensitive, or not having self confidence, or anything else. This is happpening, not my imagination, and it just flabergasts me that a mature, suscinct, in charge, on top-of -it, professional business person can behave this way. There is obviously some extreme lack of respect or some misunderstanding , or maybe just a swampingly low opinion (of me) by her that comes out and shows itself baldly to me. I was speaking a lot with F (relatively) on this earlier. "If I say just her name, even, her reaction isn't 'yes' (in a pleasant tone), but 'what' ( with a blowing hoarse-snap)! "
"It's always been this way
What is her deal? I was emphatically squealling on the way home. This time about Y. Stil the same ol' shit. I don't understand what the issue is. For some unknown reason the woman hates me. It is not me being paranoid, or too sensitive, or not having self confidence, or anything else. This is happpening, not my imagination, and it just flabergasts me that a mature, suscinct, in charge, on top-of -it, professional business person can behave this way. There is obviously some extreme lack of respect or some misunderstanding , or maybe just a swampingly low opinion (of me) by her that comes out and shows itself baldly to me. I was speaking a lot with F (relatively) on this earlier. "If I say just her name, even, her reaction isn't 'yes' (in a pleasant tone), but 'what' ( with a blowing hoarse-snap)! "
"It's always been this way
Sunday, December 21, 2003
hi
